...how we women tend to be self-critical and judgmental towards ourselves?

I don't know about you, but I often judge myself and beat myself up for things that happen in my life. Maybe I want to control them? Maybe I expect myself to be better than the rest, better than the generations before me? But what I am realizing is how tiresome it is to live with the constant pressure of never being enough, always expecting more and better from myself. And this pressure comes from within.

I often hear women in my work talk in different ways about how they don’t feel adequate or good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, successful enough (I’m guilty of this one for sure!), good enough employee, wife, mother, daughter, and so on! And again, this is a tiresome way of living. Hand up if you agree or have ever felt similar to what I’m sharing?

I have dedicated many years to working on myself, my self-confidence, my self-worth—reading and learning about human behavior, psychology, sociology, social psychology, leadership, self-talk, our intrapersonal world, interpersonal relationships, and more. And maybe we need to focus on finding peace with who we are and only seek support in those areas where we see a real problem in our lives.

What I see in myself and other women around me is that if there is a problem, we often look for the error in ourselves first. We think damaging thoughts such as “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why am I so…?” or “Why can’t I just…?” In reality, we might not be part of the problem at all. It’s an epidemic that, since the beginning of time, women have been blamed not only for their own mistakes but also for others’. And we accept it. We have become so blind to it that we often don’t see it. But in a time when self-reflection, self-awareness, and the fight for equality are almost taken for granted, I want to walk around with a big bad banner high up in the air for all women to see that says, YOU ARE PERFECTLY ENOUGH, in bright bold pink!

It’s great to be self-reflective, but we need to learn when to stop looking for fault in ourselves and start being role models for each other and our children, showing that when mom is happy and balanced, the whole family benefits. Wouldn't you agree with that?

My promise to my children and to myself, right here and now, is to wake up every day retraining myself that I am good enough, that I have the same right to be healthy, happy, and successful as everyone else in this world, and that I am no longer going to be so damn hard on myself. I actually think I’m a pretty cool and interesting person, and I would like to enjoy my own company in peace, without rush or pressure from external or internal voices. I want to be a role model not only to my children but also to other women in my community who are struggling the way I have. Let’s end this now!

I will actively work on doing less, getting my mind less cluttered and loud, and giving myself space to lean into my creativity—because being slower will be more efficient and healthy. This is how I can truly support women in my community, and most importantly, my children.

Warm regards,

Sara